Well I found a disposable camera in a box a few months ago when I was going through some stuff for my garage sale. I got really excited about it because I haven’t used a disposable camera in years. Well with all the rush of getting my house put back together after the redo I kind of forgot about the camera. But I found it again this week and dropped it off at Walgreens. Let me tell you, I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to pick up newly developed film… So I picked it up yesterday and waited until I got back to my office to open it. Let me say, I kind I now know how Geraldo felt… Total disappointment. It was pictures from a recylcling center that I toured for an Urban Ecology class at OU. And one really bad picture of my boyfriend at time. It was kind of depressing. Of all the things it could have been it was pictures of garbage and Matt. I wonder how I did on that project since I never developed that film??

I’ve decided to combine two of my favorite things…

1. “In Memory” Bumper Stickers
2. My Dolly Parton T-Shirt

When I pass away I want everyone I know to put this bumper sticker on their car. I think it is an interesting fad that is going on now and everyday I see more and more of them. For the sake of people out there like me who’s curiosity is high, I want my cause of death to be printed on the sticker as well. Because that is the first thing I think of when I see one is… How did they die? I’ll spend the remainder of my drive trying to figure it out, typically with no success. Although there have been a few successful ones. So to keep folks from wondering that about how, it’ll be right there. At first I thought I would just want a drawing of me like Dolly’s from this shirt on the sticker, but then I decided, after long deliberation and consultations with her attorneys, that her drawing would be prettier than mine. Not that I don’t think that I am pretty, but Dolly would definitely beat me in a beauty competition. Some might think it odd to put another person’s picture on your “in memory” bumper sticker, but don’t worry… Every time I wear the shirt people ask who it is, so most likely no one will recognize it is her at all unless they read my blog, or went to her 2005 American Tour. Plus I have big hair a lot of the time. Notice the “nickname”… after a lot of research, I believe that is a requirement for one of these bumper stickers to have a nickname, so my nickname will be what my nephew and niece call me, Lolo. It makes me sound hardcore tough I know, but I’m totally nice.

So without further ado… Here is an example of the bumper sticker. (Please, no one knock me off early because you think it is so awesome and want it on your car now.)

If you would prefer to have it tattooed on you, please let my attorney know and they will give you the right to do it, or not, depending on who you are or what your story is.

It is absolutely gorgeous today. I’m sitting outside waiting for a friend to pick me up for lunch. And I don’t even care that he’s almost ten minutes late because it’s wonderful sitting in the sun. The bad thing about sitting in the sun is that I just realized I missed a large section of my leg shaving. Oops. Good thing my office has very little natural light.
Enjoy this absolutely gorgeous day today! I’m off to eat great carb-free food!!

Well today is day 4 of my “anthropological” study of online dating. See since I studied anthropology in college I figured I am qualified to come at online dating this way… Hell… I need to use the degree something, right? All right, all right… I’m looking for a date, but it makes me feel better to say it is research. I don’t know why I still have a hang up about this. I should be proud that I am on this site, hold my head high… Nope, still a bit bummed this is how I have to find someone.

It really is a quite interesting site. You tell all about yourself and what you want out of a partner and oddly enough this was a very very difficult task for me. So I copped out and used the profile I created a few years ago. Thinking that it was ok… But then I started getting nervous about it. What if I’m saying the wrong thing?? So I sent my profile to my boss’ husband yesterday because he might be one the most honest people I know. If it wasn’t so embarrassing I would post his whole response on the blog. Instead, I’ll give you some tidbits.

1. He told me to only mention my dog once… Not the three maybe four times I mentioned him or I might come off like Molly Shannon in “The Year of the Dog”. Good point Jim!
2. He pointed out three separate grammatical errors in it. The funny thing about this is, if I read someone’s profile and there is a misspelling or an obvious grammatical error… I’m done. (I am a poor speller and grammar was not my best subject, so I want to my unborn children to have a chance!)
3. Ok… I made this profile when I had ended a relationship several years ago with an amazingly irresponsible person. So I had highlighted that I am NOT looking for another “But he has great potential” guy. I was told by Jim that this makes me look harsh and like I’m holding on the past… So I nixed that as well.
4. Additionally I said something about being the middle child and that shaping who I am today… It was kind of a joke, but he kindly pointed out that anyone can google “middle child syndrome” and BAM! they’ll think I have more issues than they are ready to deal with.

So I created an entirely new profile and I hope this one brings in the big fish.

Because as of today my numbers stand at:

Views: 373

People: 235

Winks: 16

Emails: 9

Yeah, that ain’t good. At least some folks are looking more than once. Right?

Tips for a gentleman creating a Match.com profile (including profile name tips):

• XXX”stupidname”XXX
• vibratorblusher (really???)
• “irish” or “scottish” -man if you are from Catoosa.
• don’t use letters or numbers to represent a word. 4=for, u=you, etc… (if you don’t take the time to type out a four letter word… what else are you going to cut corners on in life… this goes for text messaging too.)
• Don’t use your job as a handle. (ie: if you are a doctor, don’t put “hotdoc4u”, or grbgemanlkg4luv…
• My favorite might be the “bradpittlukalke” (if you don’t look like brad pitt, especially if you do like him) or “blackstallion” for a tiny little white guy.
• Oh and “ganjaknifeking” Mr. Loves kids… Stay the hell away from mine. (Ok… I don’t have kids, but stay away from my ovaries.)
• And if you say you make over $150,000 per year make sure you take down your picture of you leaning on your 1997 Grand Am.

Oh and for the accuracy of their “matches” I was set up

I’m dating again! Since I go to work in an office of all women, and go home to my dog after work, I decided to go online!  I know, it’s big.

So Saturday night I sat with my dog in my living room, alone, thinking to myself, “I’m ready to meet somebody.” So I opened up my MacBook and googled “eharmony versus match”, after a little bit of research I chose match.com. Exciting right? Well of course it is. So I go to match.com and lo and behold… My email address was already saved in the email box. Then I remembered my disastrous attempt at online dating once before. Nix that, twice before. Forgetting momentarily that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, I decided that I don’t personally know anyone that I want to date and I’m not about to go trolling bars, so this was my only option. So I did it. I was kind of lame with it though. I kept my profile from two years ago.  Just changed the picture, which I am already fretting about.

So I signed up on Saturday and today is Monday and I have had 179 profile views, 3 emails, 3 favorites and 10 winks… I’m getting a complex. That means that over 150 people viewed my profile and didn’t think I was charming or attractive enough to move their mouse over and inch and click “WINK”.

The best part of this is the emails. Two were basic but there is one that made it worth me spending my money on this website to receive this. Below is the page capture… All names have been changed to protect the weirdo.

“OK. I can picture you all dolled up and painted on the side of a WWII B-52 bomber AND you have those great pictures of you in (is it?)Africa.
My brain’s kinda spinning **DOES NOT COMPUTE?!?** I don’t know if I think you’d look better in a evening gown stepping out of a limo, or in khakis jumping into a Land Rover.
I like that.
Anyway, my profile’s out of date. I work in Tulsa again.
So.. which do you prefer?? Me in a tux, or in your… I Mean… my khakis.”

“DOES NOT COMPUTE!!??!” (You have to read it with a robot voice). That might be my favorite, right after the “get in my pants” remark. (Good think I didn’t put up my pin up girl Betty Page pictures!)

Really, do you think this has worked for him before?

I do believe this will be an interesting adventure. I look forward to blogs to come from this.

Good night and God Bless.

Ooh, I just noticed that my search box still has the Woody Guthrie Folk Festival in it… Anyone who wants to go on Friday night let me know. My all time favorite singer/songwriter will be there, Ellis Paul. I love him. And you will too.

So I just had an oddly sad experience. I am sitting at a small middle eastern restaurant right now it is like a small cafe that has about 10 tables. Well in this small space I’m at one table, and there are about five other tables filled. Three of those are filled with middle eastern families talking and laughing. Well the other white guy at the table with his family in the center of the restaurant phone start ringing loudly and his ring tone was amazingly offensive and shocking. The ring-tone was a man’s voice speaking with a heavy middle eastern accent making racial slurs and jokes using words I wouldn’t want to type on here. Everything stopped and he answered his phone like nothing happened! Everyone was looking around at each other the families began eating again and not talking and leaving shortly afterwards. It changed the whole dynamics of the room. One jerk who will gladly come and eat the food of the people he so freely ridicules made everyone else’s lunch an unpleasant experience. And that makes me sad.