So you know when you are just having one of “those” days… Nothing is going right at work, nothing is going right in your personal life and you get home and your dog has peed on your carpets… and you just pray that 8:00 can come fast enough so you can take a Tylenol PM and sleep the night through?

Right, well I had one of those days yesterday. I am afraid I will have one of those weeks…

But in the midst of frustration your friends somehow always shine through. Without even asking what the problem was, my friend Johnny tried to make me happy. And it worked. Below is the picture he made me. I can’t help but laugh everytime I look at it. So thank you Johnny… What would a girl do without great friends??

Well my time in Houston is coming to an end. I always hate leaving, but the thought of seeing my dogs gets me through it. I can’t wait to snuggle with my Toby & Layla tonight!!
Last night I went to see Etta James at The House of Blues… First let me say that it was amazing to see a living legand such as herself. And regardless of age that woman can still sing. She really doesn’t sound any different than the LPs I have of hers made 40 years ago. Well the sound system is better at the HOB than my $20 flea market speakers, so I guess she sounded better. Now that I have said all those nice things I have to say this… The lady freaked me out. She walked out on stage, with the assistance of a handsome young man and when she got to her stool she started grinding up and down it… Then she sits down and as she starts to sing she begins playing with her breasts and saying, “you like that don’t you?” then her hands moved downward as she is going in to full on sexy mode and when she gets down “there” she’s arched back and looked kind of like she was dying… But no she wasn’t dying, because she kept this up all night. Even when she sang “At Last” she was groping herself which somehow took the romance out of the song for me. But I’m so glad I got to see her and her bizarrely sexual self. However I am sad that “At Last” won’t be my first dance at my wedding anymore. I’ll find another one I’m sure. Maybe “baby’s got back”… Who knows? It’ll be a while before that first dance happens, but you’ll be the first to know when I choose the song.

I spend more time on Google Analytics than I spend on my blog… It is so much fun to look at all the detailed charts and information regarding who visits my site, and where they are from and how they got there. I love to see where people are when they look at my blog, but also I love it when someone goes to my blog through a search engine. My favorite search engine keyword that brought someone to my site is “whoopie cushion”.  I mentioned a whoopie cushion once and somehow this makes me laugh so hard. It was such an inconsequential part of my post. Good for a laugh.

Hello friends. Today I was thinking about all of things that I still harbor guilt about.

• Calling Tim Langston and hanging up… several times. That doesn’t make me feel super guilty, but the fact that I blamed it on my little sister and every one gave her a hard time about that for years. Millie, I am sorry.

• Breaking in to my mom’s art supplies and taking her charcoals and writing my brother’s name all over the laundry room closet walls. Sorry Bevan.

• When I was in probably the 6th or 7th grade I started talking to this boy who I had never met before and sadly I don’t even remember his name. But my friend knew him and she set us up and we talked on the phone all the time and he mailed me a picture of him with a letter. He asked me to mail the picture back because it was the only picture he had of him and his dad… he only met him once. Well… things fizzled out shortly afterwards and I forgot to send the picture back. I don’t have a clue where that picture might be, but I think about it all the time. I didn’t send a picture that this poor guy sent me, the only one he had of him and his father. I am a bad person. But he was stupid to send the only picture he had of his dad. Now, I feel guilty because I said he was stupid. Sorry, boy who’s name I don’t remember.

• 9/11… I was determined to catch Osama Bin Laden years before September 11, 2001. I did extensive research on Al-Qaeda and had plans to catch him. I didn’t succeed. Sorry America.

• I once kept this guy’s dog while he and his boyfriend were going home for Thanksgiving. Again, don’t remember names. I actually don’t even remember who he was and why I was keeping his dog. I was at my parents house and I brought this guys prize posession dog and my sister’s dog attacked it and it almost lost an eye. Sorry boy I can’t remember.

• Not accepting that spot on Rock of Love because I thought Bret Michaels was gross… Sorry Brett.

That’s it for now… I imagine there will be more to come.

Okay, just when I decided it’s time to make a change… Quit eating unhealthy foods and to treat my body right, with organic fruits and vegetables and whole wheat… I find this.

Crap. That’s all I have to say. Crap.

Depending on my mood you might ask me what my favorite snack is, one day I would say, Rice Crispy Treats, the next it could be a cup of Fruity Pebbles.

I never go to QuikTrip, but this morning I did. I was going to get some iced tea. What did they have at the register??

Fruity Kubes.

I believe I will die a slow and painful death today, because I ate all of them. I am ashamed.

I will never ever go in to QuikTrip again.

But seriously what brilliant person decided to mix marshmellow fluff and Fruity Pebbles….

I love you brilliant inventor, and I hate you too.

My mom is a wonderful woman and the older I get the more wonderful I realize she is. All those “motherly” things that drove me crazy when I was younger I realize now that everything she did, she did out of love. Even though I am not a mom yet, I know that it quite frankly might be the hardest job in the world. And thankfully my mom is great at her job.

Real Simple is one of my favorite magazines (thanks to Mindy!) and this months issue has a lot of wonderful articles about Mother’s Day.

The following questions come and article titled, “10 Questions to Ask Your Mother”. I am looking forward to sitting down with my mom over coffee and having her answer these 10 questions. I hope you ask your mom these questions as well. And please feel free to post some of your favorite answers. I will be sure to post my favorites after I talk to her.

1. What is the one thing you would have done differntly as a mom?
2. Why did you choose to be with my father?
3. In what ways do you think I’m like you? And not like you?
4. Which one of us kids did you like the best?
5. Is there anything you have always wanted to tell but never had?
6. Do you think it’s easier or harder to be a mother now than when you were raising our family?
7. Is there anything you regret not having asked your parents?
8. What’s the best thing I can do for your right now?
9. Is there anything that you wish had been different between us – or that you would still like to change?
10. When did you realize you were no longer a child?

Like I said, I can’t wait to hear her responses!!

Don’t forget Mother’s Day is less than a month away. May 10, 2009

So as I write this I’m flying home from Houston. Headed to Tulsa, as much as I love Tulsa and loathe Houston, I want to be in Houston right now, not stuck between two girls on Continental flight 442.

So these are my observations as I sit here:

• Non-Asians who bring Panda Express on an airplane and eat their sweet and sour chicken with chopsticks… Well they’re jackasses. Seriously chopsticks, on an airplane… Go ahead let me see you eat your rice, oh how I like to see you struggle… Get a fork next time a-hole.

• People who bring babies on planes are jerks. I know that folks with children have to go places too… So rent a minivan, it’s just from Houston to Tulsa. If time is an issue… Benedryl.

• After putting your bag in the overhead bin, sit down and quit talking to the person who is sitting under that bin. I don’t want to talk to you.

• Also to the guy I sat next to on my flight to Houston on Friday, I don’t want to talk to you either. Why do people feel the need to ask, “Business or pleasure? Have you been to Houston before? Do you have fun plans while you’re there?” Seriously, I don’t give my closest friends that much information.

• Just because I am reading on a Kindle that doesn’t mean that you can interrupt and ask to look at it. I don’t remember people stopping me mid chapter reading the newest John Grisham book asking to see it.

• How do they make the mini pretzels so tiny? It’s actually quite impressive. I need to see if there is a How It’s Made on airline snacks.

• I’m wishing I was on a more posh airline with wifi connection so I could just post this and go to sleep. I can’t even save it without Internet connection. So I’ll just keep going.

• My plane took off five minutes early… If I was on time and missed my flight because we were in the air at takeoff time, would I get a refund?

• Would it be tacky to go offer the mother of the screaming baby some Benedryl that I have in my purse?

• I’m short… 5’4, and my legs get cramped on a plane. How did you do it Andre the Giant?

• I was asked if I wanted to upgrade my ticket to First Class at the gate, for a low $150… I was thinking to myself, “who would pay $150 to upgrade on an hour and ten minute flight?” Well apparently the guy behind me would. And he did and I am now thinking that perhaps he had a bad feeling about babies crying and Chinese food smelling up the cabin and just decided it was worth the risk. I want to take this guy to Vegas with me.

• I also want to take a picture of the girl next to me, in seat 9A, but unfortunately the iPhone takes really bad pictures if you don’t have studio quality lighting around. Anyways, she’s wrapped up two blankets wearing really obnoxious sunglasses asleep against the window with her mouth open so wide that I just had to promised myself a manicure tomorrow to not see if my fist could fit in it.

• I can fit my whole fist my mouth.

• I’m really really cold. I wonder if 9a would wake up if I borrowed a blanket?

• When did it become wrong to call a flight attendant a “stewardess”. And when did this become a male dominated profession? Sorry Mr. Flight Attendant, I’ll never call you a stewardess again.

• Will my boyfriend ever understand blogging?

• Crap the lights came on and 9a didn’t wake up and I was about to take a picture when I realized I can’t save this… So I can’t exit this program or I’ll lose all my hard work. You’ll just have to use your imagination.

Landing soon. I’ll be happy to see my dogs.